The only upside to my first wedding is that it gave me a very literal list of things I wished I would have done/wouldn't have done. Some of them are silly little things that did not matter in the whole scheme of things; others were glaringly obvious and needed to be fixed for Wedding 2.0 to be perfect. I fell asleep last night thinking of bird cages and jell candles and Jordan almonds.
~This wedding WILL be about us. Just us. Two people. Zwei. Dos. Deux. Jace and Hanie. No third or fourth wheels. Opinions and ideas will be great appreciated and will be taken into consideration; but I won't let my self feel guilty though this whole process.
~My dress will be non-traditional and probably have some color in it. Deal with it.
~The guest list is going to be small. Sorry - I'm not inviting my insurance agent even if she gave me a great rate on my insurance this year! See the first little squiggle line - it's about US. If us does't know you on a close, familiar basis; us won't be sending you a cool invite.
~I'm sending save the dates. I don't care Jace, if it is only 30 people. And they are going to be magnets. I don't care how cliche and dorky and over done it is. I will not be denied this a second time!
~Most of my budget will be spent on the photographer. The last one was a "family friend" and I could have taken better shots with my camera phone. Now I know why she was a "steal" at 300 bucks........she had zero aim. This wedding is going to be DIY and intimate and cozy and charming and rustic and I want it all captured. Everyone knows I am a photography junkie. I need this to happen and will get a 2nd AND 3rd job, if need be, to get a decent photog. I have already begun the search because even though the wedding is not until the summer of 2013; I don't want to lose the best one. Stay tuned for the fights that will ensue due to this - Jace does not exactly see eye to eye with me on this. The importance of a perfect picture is lost on men. He'd rather spend it on the honeymoon. I charmingly disagree.
~NO gifts. I'm old-ish-er now and have done this before. It's tacky, and frankly - I'm lazy. I don't want to go to Target to scan crap anymore then you want to go to Target and get the list of my scanned crap and search for something on there to purchase. That is why I am thinking charities. Donating everything to a cause that "us" feels passionate about. Sea Shepherd seems to be the best and most likely candidate at this point but I'm not sure all our guest share our same views; I'll need to look into that some more.
~Eco-friendly. When I think about all the Styrofoam at wedding 1.0 - I feel sad and guilty. This wedding is going to be all reclaimed pieces and vintage dress and jewelry. If I can't find it online or at a vintage store or antique shoppe; obviously my wedding does not need it that bad.
~Wedding favors with meaning. A bag of M&M's?! I think not! I still have every wedding favor that I ever got from a wedding that had actual meaning to it. A seashell magnet with the date (hi AB!), a maple leaf cookie cutter with a maple cut-out cookie recipe, candles with the date inscribed. Never kept a bag of M&M's. Sorry. I just want people to look back at our wedding and see every detail as perfect. Is that high reaching and unrealistic. Maybe. But I'm doing it!
~Short and sweet. Yes. It is fun to do the chicken dance with your drunk uncle and your sugar-rushed nephew. But how over-played it that? I want our reception to (again) be about US and what we like. How about music playing in the background while we play yard games or sit around a fire chatting, blow bubbles with the kids, play cribbage and spades? A few bottles of wine and s'mores for the kidlets. A quick ceremony in the late afternoon, a simple yet elegant dinner; quality time with the family - then everyone is on their way home by 10 and we are jetting to Bali! Sounds perfect and so US!
~Religion not included. At all. This is kinda tricky seeing how the whole thing is based on the "bible" but I'm slowly working my way though this. No unity candle for US. Mom, don't expect any reading from the Corinthians nor will any hymns be sung. There will probably be a hippy on guitar but that is about it.
~Imperfect. I don't want everything to be cohesive and color coordinated. I'm picking a palette and going for it. I don't want my bridesmaids to match nor do I want them shelling out a lot of money for a dress.
"$15 bucks at Savers and it is in my color palette?! Well done!" I want it to have a seamless elegance but at the same time; I want it to be slightly imperfect. Comfortable for all - a day well spent.
~The Honeymoon. Screw you. Our phones will be off - I don't want to hear about your cat. End of story. Fin.
I'm sure that I'll add to this as the months roll by. Right now I am in the very beginning planning stages so things will change but I know that I want to stay true the things above. That is all something we both have agreed on and it makes a big difference. We wanted to forego the "traditional" courthouse get 'er done with something a little more wedding-esque while still keeping it simple, cost effective and entirely US. That is my goal. I hope that in a year, I'm well on my way to completion!
Hanie
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